


Across The Crimson Sky

by coruscantguard (nadiavandyne), nadiavandyne



Series: 2020 Fic Challenges [14]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Child Soldiers, Clone Trooper Culture (Star Wars), Clone Trooper-Typical Identity Issues, Dehumanization, Fix-It, Gen, Past Child Abuse, Planet Kamino (Star Wars), Suicidal Ideation, Where did everybody go?, Whump, Whumptober 2020, aftermath of war, mentioned child death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:48:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26885380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nadiavandyne/pseuds/coruscantguard, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nadiavandyne/pseuds/nadiavandyne
Summary: Commander Bacara, after the war is over.
Series: 2020 Fic Challenges [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1810486
Comments: 2
Kudos: 55
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Across The Crimson Sky

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is pretty intense, so please proceed with caution. Bacara... I'm sorry. I love you, I swear, you just hurt so nicely.

When Bacara was six standard, equivalent to a natborn’s 12, he’d overheard an argument between Tervho and Prime. 

He hadn’t even _been_ Bacara back then, just CC-1138. Karking hells, it had been before he even started training with the Journeyman Protectors.

"This is why you don't raise children as soldiers," he’d heard Tervho say, voice low but insistent. He’d frozen where he was, back pressed to the wall, knowing full well that he shouldn’t listen, but curious anyway. "You'll cut away their humanity and they'll thank you for it." 

"Mandalorians raise their children to fight." Prime had replied, voice cold. It was like how he spoke to the clones. It was nothing like how he spoke to Boba. "You were raised to fight."

"Yeah, by a loving family," she'd shot back. "And I was raised to fight, not to be a soldier. I was raised to stand up for what I believed in, not to follow orders at all costs. I was not sent to war as a child."

"They'll be full grown when they're sent to war," Prime said dismissively. "Are you done?"

"You're taking away their choice," she'd said, evidently not done. "They don't know if what they're fighting for is worth dying for. And because you raised them like this, they won't know how to make the decision that it isn't worth it. They'll never stop. Never give it up."

"They're weapons. They only exist to fight and die on the behalf of the Republic. They aren't anything beyond that."

Silence. 1138 had pressed himself closer to the wall, barely letting himself breathe. Being discovered would be--

Bad. It would be bad.

"It would be kinder to kill them," Tervho had finally said, and he saw her stop at the door, look back at Fett. He took the opportunity to move further backwards, so he was firmly out of her range of sight. "If they only exist to fight in a war, then it would be kinder to kill them right now. Kinder to kill them before they have to crack open their own ribs, and rip their still-beating hearts out of their chests in the name of following orders."

"Tervho!"

"Don’t even start, _Fett_.” Her voice was pure acid, and even though she was one of the nicer trainers, 1138 still flinched. “Soldiers can't have hearts if they're fighting in a war. If they're going to mindlessly follow orders, they can't have souls. They'll die, and they'll be dar'manda when they do, because you gave them no other option."

"They're _weapons—_ "

"And yet you still have them nurture their bonds with their brothers!"

1138 had slipped away right around then, not eager to be close by if the fight turned physical. He hadn't thought much of it back then, besides the passing thought that Vhonte's take was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard. 

Of _course_ they'd fight to the end. Of _course_ it would be worth it. They'd be the best, because they were indoctrinated since birth, and they'd get to go out in a blaze of glory, get to rejoin the stars. They'd do their duty as they were trained to do, be the weapons they were meant to be. There was nothing bad about that, in fact, it was something to be proud of. 

And he still thought that, obviously. He still believed in their purpose, in what they were raised to do, in what the long-necks taught him and how the Journeyman Protectors trained him, but—

But he hadn't died in the war. He'd ripped out his heart so that the hearts of his men could beat for longer, set fire to his soul to keep the Marines warm, and he'd lived. He'd lived, and he'd expected another conflict, another war, to keep doing his duty, but the Jedi had discharged them, and the GAR was no more. 

Now he was supposed to exist even though the Republic was demilitarizing. He was supposed to exist despite the fact that the Republic was getting rid of its weapons. He was supposed to be a person, and—

Bacara hadn't signed up for that. Hadn't _agreed_ to that. There had been no clause that said he'd have to live with what he did, no class to teach him what happened when the fighting stopped. There wasn't supposed to be an after the war. He was born a soldier, and he was supposed to die as one, too. He wasn’t taught how to do what they ask him to do now. Wasn’t taught how to stop, how to give up the fight.

Somedays, he misses being 1138. Life was a lot easier back then.

**Author's Note:**

> \- Happy Whumptober day 7! I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> \- I'm pretty sure my notes here are going to be longer than the fic itself. Also, only kind of actually related to the fic, oops. In my defense, I was rewatching Violet Evergarden, and now I'm having FEELINGS about the clones in the aftermath of war if Order 66 doesn't happen. And yes, the title comes from Violet Evergarden as well lol, I just changed "violet" to "crimson".
> 
> \- So, there's a part of this fic where Bacara says that the Jedi discharged them-- that's not exactly true, as the Jedi didn't actually have the authority to do that. What happened (in this fic) was that a court case the Jedi brought to the Republic's Supreme Court finally stopped being delayed after Palpatine's death. This case was about the contracts the clones signed re. fighting for the Republic, and whether or not those contracts were unconstitutional. The reveal of Palpatine being treasonous put pressure on the 7 (out of 12) judges he had appointed to the bench to vote in favor of the proponent, and distance themselves from his treachery. The proponent won the case 7-5, with two of the judges Palpatine appointed also saying that the contracts weren't constitutional, thus declaring the contracts void, and freeing all the clones from having to be part of the GAR. Then the GAR dissolved. Bacara, however, doesn't see it as them being freed from their contracts, he sees it as having his life's purpose ripped away from him, sees it as all of them being punished for doing what they were meant to do, so he said they were discharged instead. 
> 
> \- Child abuse TW for this paragraph: I get why it's so common for fics dealing with Kamino to have all the clones hate the Kaminoans, as they're very easy for the viewer to hate, but personally I've never seen that as being something that's particularly realistic (this is Star Wars, nothing is realistic lol). Sure, a few clones definitely do just despise them-- they aren't like a monolith or anything-- but it doesn't make sense for them all to. Humans are pack animals, we rely on our caretakers for everything as kids. And because of that, we have to trust our caretakers. It's why so many abused children believe that they are the problem, not their parents-- they literally can't fathom otherwise. The Kaminoans were the primary caretakers of the clones as kids, so their natural survival instincts wouldn't have let them see the Kaminoans as the bad guys. And considering how isolated they all are until Geonosis, I can't see that belief changing too much in their teenage years. DissociaDID has a really good video on the traumatic response that I'll link here https://youtu.be/1IgfqmHNLXA?t=362 -- the really relevant part re. how children respond to trauma at the hands of their caretakers begins at the six minute mark.
> 
> \- Come talk to me on Tumblr [@coruscantguard!](https://coruscantguard.tumblr.com/)


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